onlysortofirish's Datingish

Temporary Break-Ups...do they work?

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 02:00:22 GMT

Can going "on a break" actually benefit a relationship?

And if so...what are the terms of a temporary break?

- Do you establish a time limit to re-evaluate?

- Can you communicate or talk during this time?

- Are you allowed to date other people?

(Hmm...if the goal of the break is to get back together and make your relationship stronger in the long run, the answer here is probably no.. Then again, if you're "broken up" but still exclusive, then where's the motivation brought by the fear of really losing the other person if you know they're still not allowed to date anyone else?)

Has going "on a break" ever worked for you or anyone you know?

One kiss too far?

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:56:55 GMT

A poem....that says everything I can't stop thinking about today....

Today, which is about exactly 24 hours after a highly emotionally charged (sober!) moment where judgement went out the window and I kissed my best (guy) friend.

He has a girlfriend...I have a boyfriend. Ugh. I am such an idiot....but I wouldn't change yesterday for the world.

Ripping myself apart from the inside out.
Overanalyzing; my head filling with doubt.
Overstepped boundaries, one kiss too far;
I knew it from the moment I drove away in my car.

Now look at what I have allowed to occur!
Reasoning so clear to me then is now just a blur.
Surely we can fix this, as we are the best of friends.
You're the one I turn to when I need to make ammends
with anyone - but now this awkwardness with you
has left me restless and I don't know what to do.

All I want is for you to just call me
right in this moment reassurance is key!
But I'm stuck in this horrible girly emotional stress.
Since when did friends like us get into such a mess?

Why did I let you kiss me? Why did I kiss you back?
I hate being the girl who can't rise above emotions under attack.

Sex BEFORE the L-word?

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:44:09 GMT

My older-and-still-single cousin recently told me about her "three month" rule. She said that if you can't say (or feel the beginnings of) an "I love you" after three months, you probably never will, or will never really mean it.

That is where my sex question comes in.....is it detrimental to the relationship to have sex before either party is able to say the L word?

And, what is your opinion of the "three month" rule?

Personal Confessions & Second-Guessings

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 19:05:45 GMT

Just as I am curious as to see what the gen-pop has to say about the issue of my previous post, I'm sure you can imagine it has relevance to my own life too.

So, here's a readers' digest version of my story...

I was raised in a very religious family. I vowed to wait until my wedding night to lose my virginity. I even wore a promise ring as a teenager and as a college student. And YES! I successfully waited until marriage. I was my husband's first as well. I was 20 (almost 21) then.

But....the husband that I waited so long for is now my EX-husband. He later told me that he thought we weren't a compatible match, sexually...and later admitted to cheating on me multiple times. I forgave him the first time I found out (he promised to never do it again)...but 2 years later, I caught him in another affair and when I confronted him about it, he left me and moved in with "her". That was almost a year ago and to my knowledge, they are still together.

I guess ignorance was my bliss during my marriage....I didn't think sex with him was all THAT wonderful, but it wasn't terrible, either. I figured that's just how it was meant to be, since I didn't have experience with anyone to compare him to.

Now I am questioning everything. Had I decided to have sex with him before marriage, maybe we would have never married (and I would have been saved from all of these years of heartache that have robbed me of my early 20s!)

Spokenfor@xanga, you said in your comment on my previous entry that you've never heard anyone regret waiting until marriage....well, now you have.

Sex and Dating

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 19:38:11 GMT

How far in a relationship does it become "ok" to have sex? (dum dum DUMMM)

I'm 25 years old. I'm no stranger to this game of sex and dating....but this is always a debate with me and my friends. If you have sex too early, that makes you a (insert sleezy-slang-word of choice here) not to mention the loss of "mystery" yadda yadda yadda.

But gosh, these days, if you keep putting it off, the guy you're with is going to seriously wonder what your problem is?

I mean, OK fine if you are one of those "waiting until marriage" types, well then you state that upfront and your guy is either accepting of the fact, or has already sprinted three blocks by the time you finish your celebacy-schpiel.

I'm asking...so go ahead and leave your comments! I would love to hear some feedback and then I'll blog a little about my own experience on the matter (YES, I do mean juicy details!)